Trekking While Nepali, published in Himal Southasia on July 6, 2024, is the first text essay (rather than mixed-media essay) that I’ve written in a long time.
I’d been wanting to write it since the end of our trek to Makalu Barun Base Camp in the autum of 2023, and finally found time in the Spring, after my partner Daniel’s leg injury—which is mentioned in the essay—healed enough to free me from care duties. (As he found out, you never fully appreciate how able-bodied you are till you’re temporarily not. And as I found out anew, caring for loved ones take priority over everything else).
I was worried that waiting so long to write would make me forget the details, but I had journaled throughout the trek, and as I consulted my notes, I found that the memories came back vividly. (Always journal!) I also researched the area retrospectively, and found that the knowledge I acquired after the trek helped intensify the experience.
I found, too, that I recovered my voice while writing this essay.
Friends know that I’ve been working off and on on a novel since my sister Tej died in 2019, only six years after my brother Bhaskar died in 2013. Recovering from these losses has taken time. Though I’m back to writing, I haven’t quite nailed the voice through which to narrate that work of fiction. I’m still working on that.
But in this essay, I found my own voice—the one I speak with, the one I write nonfiction with.
It’s been hard to know how to accommodate grief into my writing, even though it has found such a central place in my life. I haven’t wanted to write about my siblings’ deaths, not directly, at least.
With this essay, I found I could find a place for death, alongside life. This was, to be honest, a revelation, and also a relief.
Let me know what you think?
To read the essay, you’ll have to set up an account for Himal Southasia, doing so is free. And if you feel moved to subscribe to Himal Southasia’s worthy newsletters, or to become a patron to them, please do.
Thanks for reading this post, and subscribing to my Substack. These occasional posts have been very much part of my procsss of recovery. It means a lot that you’re interested.
To end, I’ll post a view of Mt. Makalu from Base Camp. How otherworldly is that?
So glad that you have found your voice again. I loved the final paragraph and the memories your piece evoked. Greetings to Daniel as well.
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